Neither does one die when the body dies
Nor is one born when one assumes a body
For one is not this body formed of the Five Elements
That dissolve into them with its death
Neither do I get drowned in unhappiness
Nor do I fly on wings of ecstasy
For sorrow and ecstasy are aliens to me
They just cast shadows and sunlight in my life as they pass by!
I am just a witness to their entry and exit!
Neither am I swept off my feet by the lure of the senses
Nor do I abstain from the ‘selective’ indulgence of these gifts of God
Sometimes, I have desires; sometimes I am free of them
But yet they are strangers to me and I watch them come and go
Faith and doubt are contradictions within me
Sometimes I have faith, and sometimes I have doubts
But I am not these for I am betwixt these two
And I just let them be and behold their play
Love and hate …are they me? Nay, I am sure not!
I love something and I hate another
Or I love something this moment and hate it the next
I can’t be blinded by neither love nor hate, for I am above these!
Aren’t these are gifts given to me?
Yes! As tools for evolving , given by my Lord
Tools given to empower me
Yes! To empower me to discriminate between the ephemeral and the eternal
And mould myself into what I truly am…His Image
All these begin and end somewhere and at sometime, and I am beyond space and time
All these are part of this body and this little mind and die with them
Neither am I this body nor am I this little mind!
Mind and Matter – both are of this world
This human mind is the seat of all desires, fears, feelings and emotions
And matter …a game of the five senses
I am not the mind; I am not this matter body!
These are part of me in this lifetime
And may be the next and more to come
But they exist only as long as I have a separate identity
Till I recede into the Ocean and become One with it!
Now that I have listed down what all I am not
Let me ponder on “What I am?”
Why am I here? How did I chose this life that I lead?
I don’t know but I can’t help but to explore!
The search seems to be endless
But it can end with just a dash of colours
Yes! The dash of colours of Mercy, Love and forgiveness
Colours that can cleanse my tainted soul and make it pure again!
Then will the answer come up within me
Just like a flash of light, a divine bolt from the blue
Who am I? Why am I here? Why did I chose this life?
The questions linger in the core of my Being…and burn me and melt me !
It may be late , but never is it “Never”
In some lifetime or other the miracle will happen!
My greatest search in life will remain even after this body dies!
So do I pen down this poem which has ended in words
But which still pervade my thoughts, my mind, the core of my Being
And I continue my search from the bottomless depths of the Soul!
Mercy! Mercy! Mercy! O Lord!
Have Mercy on the poor estranged souls
Who wriggle, writhe and cry in pain of separation from You!
Embrace them in Your Fold, O Great Shepherd and Lead Us!
Amen! Amen! Amen!