Tag Archives: Self-quest

A JOURNEY TO AN UNKNOWN DESTINATION (An allegory)

I am a ‘sailor’ out at ‘sea’ – all alone, on my sailboat. If I were to judge myself, I would say I am a ‘seasoned sailor’, but, still an aficionado at it, as I have never taken sailing for granted, nor has my passion for it reduced even a wee little bit.
Hence, on this solo adventure at sea , I am all eager – to brave the storms , if any, that may come, while out at sea; to confront any ‘lurking’ dangers in the unfathomable, yet unexplored and unconquered realms, as may be, in the ‘deep’ .
I am ‘all set’ to cross the seas to the other side – to an unknown destination, with the ‘Power of the Unknown’ as my sole shipmate, friend, guide and philosopher.
I have come a long, long way from my land. I have travelled leagues and leagues on this sailboat of mine. I once even got ‘swept away’ in a storm and was stranded on a deserted ‘island’, for a few days. But my sailboat had survived the storm and I set out again on my Nature-intervened voyage towards my destination.
My lifeboat is as good as new, for, it is strong and sturdy, to float with or against strong currents of inevitable storms. For, this boat of mine has been ‘redone’ and made as good as new by the ‘Invisible power hands of GRACE’.
There are three ‘masts’ in my boat – the ‘masts’ of Seva, Sadhna and Satsang,, which stand strong as pillars of support and add power to the ‘sails’ of ‘Sudarshan Kriya’ rhythms, which propel the boat, and keep it moving with the tide.

I have a ‘gut feeling’ that the shore of the unknown destination is not far now. Well, on second thoughts, is it really the gut feeling, which is almost always right, or, is it the seasoned sailor’s ‘paradigm mindset’ that makes me feel so? I wonder!

I may miss my familiar land and my people; I may miss my shipmates, who are not with me in this voyage.

But when the call from within comes, there is no going back. The boat, the mast and the sails, all, together, manoeuvre the boat , towards its predestined shores.

I want to let my shipmates and the people of my land know that, when we sailed together on some expeditions, we might have had ‘rough weather’ , and, like any sailor might catch on the ‘roughness’ and unprecedented nature of the storms he may have to brave, I must also have been rough and capricious, sometimes, during our voyages together at sea. I don’t bode any ill will or evil in my heart . I hope my shipmates of yore will forgive me for any such harm I might have done to them, unintentionally, mostly, but, may be , intentionally, a few times.
These voyages together have surely made us all the braver, the humbler, and the richer for it . Now that I look back, I find it was all were part of the preparation to take the next voyage for all of us.

Only good memories remain with me now, every moment. I hope it is the same experience for my shipmates and the people of my land.

Hopefully, I will continue to sail on the same boat, which, I am sure will be my sailboat for every expedition I may take, and, for as long as I sail out at sea. I hope that all of you make sure your boat, your masts and sail are all intact, else, please get then redone – you may like to get it done in the same place where I got it done and by the same ‘GRACE’. Of course, if you are sure your boat is as strong and sturdy as can be ( no comparisons) well and good.

So we look back just to learn and be more efficacious in our future expeditions, whether each by himself or herself or together, by being proactive and move ahead joyfully, gratefully, singing the merry sailors’ song while steering the ship, while braving dangers, all the way. Our song will resound in the roar of the waves, in the flow of the tides, in the throat of the seagull , to be carried by the winds to our native land, to our other shipmates, as memories to cherish, and , as ‘the dauntless eternal spirit of the sailor’ to be passed on from one to another, and to another, to make it a wonderful journey. In fact, I hope our song would be a lesson to learn for others on the voyage and those yet to start to make it smoother, with less traumatic experience of the ‘storm’ in their boats ( the storm may blow outside ) and more enjoyable for all.
I am EXPECTANT, EXULTANT. But I am in no undue haste to reach across, nor am I tired and sick of the sea. At the same time, my eyes open wide with wonder when I think of new lands to explore, new people to meet and live with, new shipmates as well as many old ones, may be, to sail with, and, one more anecdote to add to my history of expeditions to new lands, to leave behind, as a sailor’s journal to my sailor mates, and all my people in my native land,

Now, when I stand at the deck and gaze at the vast expanse of the sea, its different moods and the tides that rise and ebb in it, at the life-force that is vibrant in it, with lifeforms that it sustains as many flora and fauna, with wealth such as mother-of-pearl and corals embedded in its rock-bottom , I wonder at the beautiful balance of Nature that happens in it, with resources for survival for all that live in it – creation, preservation and destruction, happening, Nature’s Way. How mysterious and mystical – just like my voyages, so also, may be, the voyages of other sailors like me.

Now, every moment the boat is anew, the masts are anew, the sails are anew. No ‘wear and tear’ of the sails, no rust and moss in the boat, no leakages or holes in the boat, no broken masts – all in good shape.

The journey continues………..
“Born Voyage’ to all who have set sail with me on their sailboats and also to Myself! Godspeed!

THE SELF-ECLIPSE

‘THE SELF’ is ‘THE SUN’ THAT SHINES FOR EVER”

The human mind is , I have heard and experienced to some extent, connected to the Moon. Just like in a solar eclipse, the Moon comes between the Sun and the Earth, and, a shadow of it falls on the Earth to obscure it from sunlight, in life, many a time ‘The Self’ is eclipsed by the human mind I. e. it obscures the world-experiences or maya from the ‘Self’. It is during these times that the human being ‘swallows’ the ‘bait’ offered by the world-consciousness – of the senses, the limited ego, the clouded intellect, and the gross feelings and emotions – ‘hook, line and sinker’, and gets caught in the ‘net’ of maya or illusion.

Just like sunlight falls on the Earth sooner or later after the Solar Eclipse, this mental eclipse also will not last for ever. It may be for a moment, may be for years, or for lifetimes.

But, to a sadhak or spiritual practitioner, life doesn’t end with this body. Once one is on the path, it is carried on from one lifetime to another. And in any one lifetime, with the regular practice of the Sudarshan Kriya and meditation , the human mind ‘wakes up’ as the ‘witness-consciousness’. It just serves as a mirror that reflects whatever is projected by the Self as world-experiences – back to the Self.
It may, or,may not be -. a moment’s happening. It can be a slow process, where the mind slowly gets cleansed and it reflects the world-experiences to the extent that it is clean. In some places, it may not be, in which case, the world-experiences may stick to it and ‘stain’ it, though not permanently.

When total healing happens over a period of time with the Sudarshan kriya, the mind is sure to become a ‘spotless’ , stain-free mirror that reflects back to The Self- in toto – whatever it experiences as a ‘witness’- in this world. There is then no longer a curtain between the mind and the Self. Both are ONE…i.e. perception is synonymous with reality, or perception is just ‘a term of reference’. This is possible in a seeker’s life, but, solely by Grace. This I presume, must be the state of consciousness of the Enlightened Ones. Their mind (ONE MIND), I am sure, is a non-entity as part of the Infinite within the Finite matter-body with its paraphernalia – just a wave in the Ocean!

DIWALI – THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

Diwali becomes a festival in its true sense ( in the true sense of any festival, for that matter) when the mind, illumined by ‘The Light From Within’ becomes a ‘prism’ and refracts
Whiteness ( the clean, totally transparent mind, which doesn’t absorb anything but just lets everything pass through it – may be, Meera can represent it?) through the seven chakras into a ‘rainbow of colours in life’- i.e. it gets translated into practical day-to-day life to bring about a beautiful balance of mind between apparent opposites . To explain, the mind(it can be called the mind or the consciousness at that stage, I think) learns to be, most of the time just a witness to one’s feelings and moods that may keep oscillating like a pendulum many time, and emotions that may uplift or pull one down, and intellect, that may reflect the crystal-clear mind or its clouded skies among apparent opposites in life….joys and sorrows, pain and pleasure, love and hatred, and the like.

VIBJYOR

Violet Stands for ‘VICTORY TO THE SELF’
Indigo stands for. ‘ EQUILIBRIUM’
Blue stands for ‘INFINITY’
Green stands for. ‘PEACE’
Yellow stands for. ‘PURITY’
Orange stands for. ‘SELF-EFFULGENCE’
Red stands for. ‘COURAGE’

These colours make life ‘A Celebration’ moment-to-moment. Every thought, every word, every action is ‘SWAYAMBHOO’ is what has always been there ‘within’ . They come from within and go back within ‘To the SOURCE’. All external triggers burst into the ‘infinite space’ of the Five Elements but as ‘damp squibs’. No more pollution ‘within and without’.

Lasting Joy, bliss, peace, contentment, fulfilment, gratitude – cannot be a a result of thought-word-action cycle of oneself and other embodied souls around. For, if these are a result of these, they won’t last long.

Unless, of course, if it comes from, may be, experiencing God in the Formless ( very, very rare) , through the forms of Mother Nature, or, more easily, for the common man, by coming into contact with and becoming ‘one of the chosen ones’ one of the Enlightened Masters, who becomes the launch-pad for the seeker of Truth to set off on his or her journey . During this journey, he or she may experience moments of real joy and bliss, and infinite peace and gratitude.


Realisation of this Truth marks DIWALI – the lighting of the ‘Akhanddeep’ ‘within’, that ‘dispels’ all ‘darkness’. The seeker opens his or her ‘inner eye’ like an infant who is born in the predestined time and place, and takes time to get used to the light and then opens his or her eyes and looks around, or, so, it seems, to the world outside. Those of us around him or her say “Look! He or she is smiling! The Goddess is showing him the Lotus’; “Look! He or she is iangry and impatient for his feed’. The latter are all our interpretations of his or her apparent behaviour but it may not be true.
Just like a newborn, I am just opening my ‘inner eyes’. I am feeling, sensing, experiencing the ‘Presence’ of the Divine Mother – while being nursed, cuddled, loved, made to sleep in meditation. My senses, my feelings, my emotions, my mind, thought, word and action – all seem to come from the world and go back to the world. Well, it is so, and , at the same time, it is not so! For, all these world-experiences are instruments that turn me inward and bring me back to ‘Myself’ – ‘The Source’.
“I AM NOTHING! I KNOW NOTHING! I DO NOTHING!”(courtesy HH ‘Sri Sri”& His “Sudarshan Kriya”) I am happy ‘HERE AND NOW’ – in this lifetime; in this world, in all relationships and situations around. There is plenty of time to grow up ( who wants to grow up?..not I, for sure!).
DIWALI – THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS
Light of GRACE OF THE GURU/THE MASTER/GOD
KNOWLEDGE
LOVE
PEACE
CONTENTMENT
FULFILMENT
GRATITUDE
HAPPY DIWALI

THE GOLDEN SUNSET

As I watched the setting Sun

I mused awhile

Reflecting on its glory

That shone’ in the still waters of the ebbing tide!

It sparked ‘the observer’ in the ‘Sun-baked’ mind

And a glow that illumined ‘the ‘dark recesses’ of ‘The Self’

To tell me that I am ‘ageless’

Though have I turned three scores and two and aged – but in body alone!

The soul embodies itself in a body that is born in this world

Then the body grows old and dies

Then it is buried or burnt to ashes

To disintegrate and merge into the five elements!

Birth corresponds to the rising Sun and the morning tide

As time moves, so tide moves

And it tells stories of youth

As it soars to its highest at noon!

Then slowly does it start ‘ebbing’

By evening it is at its lowest, but radiates peace and calm around

As does the embodied soulIn the ‘autumn’ years of the body it carries !

At dusk the setting Sun gives golden hues

So does the seeker-soul embodied in mind and matter!

Death symbolises the much-needed rest for the ever-travelling soul

As nightfall is Nature’s Way of temporary rest and rejuvenation!

Then does the Sun rise the next day

And time and tide move ahead again

Just as man lives and dies

To be or not to be …..back to this life and death cycle again – I wonder!!

Birth and Sunrise; Death and sunset!

Isn’t it all a wonder!

How the golden sunset opens the altar within

For revelations from ‘the Supreme Self’!

The ‘Sun’ is the ‘Supreme Consciousness’

Dawning on the horizon of the embodied soul

The calm, serenely flowing ‘water’ is the still mind

The ‘ reflection ‘ mirroring the Sun is the ‘Eternal Truth’ downloading ‘From the Source”

ANHAD NAAD

Still! Still! Still!

I was ‘all stillness’!

Body, Mind and soul!

As I stood awhile beside the running stream!

An Invisible Power ‘spoke’ to me

And urged me to close my eyes and listen

I did and all the five senses turned inward as I did!

The ‘Altar of the Self” opened !

Then did the sound of the running stream

Lingered to pervade my ‘whole being’

Still my mind and chase away all thoughts

To live me ‘hollow and empty’!

And this very sound that I gave ‘deaf ears’ to many a time

Enriched me in a moment – body, mind and soul!

ANHAD NAAD! ANHAD NAAD!

Is it this – I wondered!

Is this what man hears within

When he ‘merges’ into ‘The Self”

Though may carry his matter-body around?

I wonder! I wonder! I wonder!

If, in just a fraction of a second

The ‘inner senses’ can ‘ relate ‘ to the Anhad

I wonder how one feels when he lives

To experience the ‘ANHAD’ within!

Still! Still! Still!

I was ‘all stillness’!

Body, Mind and soul!

As I stood awhile beside the running stream!

An Invisible Power ‘spoke’ to me

And urged me to close my eyes and listen

I did and all the five senses turned inward as I did!

The ‘Altar of the Self” opened !

Then did the sound of the running stream

Lingered to pervade my ‘whole being’

Still my mind and chase away all thoughts

To live me ‘hollow and empty’!

And this very sound that I gave ‘deaf ears’ to many a time

Enriched me in a moment – body, mind and soul!

ANHAD NAAD! ANHAD NAAD!

Is it this – I wondered!

Is this what man hears within

When he ‘merges’ into ‘The Self”

Though may carry his matter-body around?

I wonder! I wonder! I wonder!

If, in just a fraction of a second

The ‘inner senses’ can ‘ relate ‘ to the Anhad

I wonder how one feels when he lives

To experience the ‘ANHAD’ within!

THE SENSES & BEYOND

ZZZZZZ….ZZZZZZ…ZZZZ!!!!! The busy bee hovered around, resplendent in its shiny dark-brown coat. And, as I watched its flight, fascinated and wonderstruck at Lord’s Creation, it perched lightly on a freshly-blossomed rose – a feast – not only to the senses, with its beauty, smell, and, soft and silky texture, but also to the soul, thirsting for something that can bring it closer to the Creator, its soulmate and its Beloved.
In this state of consciousness, every gift of Nature to man , like the rose, kindled ‘that’, which is beyond the senses. The very senses, which used to give gross satisfaction and evanescent fulfilment, have now become the media for ‘Communion with the ‘Self’.
It is a Revelation that happens some moment or other in every seeker’s life, in any of the lifetimes that the embodied soul takes off on its ‘conscious’ journey towards perfection. This moment marks the beginning of a new life or rebirth for the awakened soul, after lifetimes of ‘slumber’ in a ‘bottomless pit’ of illusion, delusion and ‘inert life’. What else can one expect in the dark world of Maya or world-illusion, with all it has to offer – beauty skin-deep, the physical body with its ‘grossest’ expression of the senses, and, the ‘little mind’ that had had a ‘disconnect’ from the ‘Big Mind’- and the experiences all these bring, such as pleasure and pain, lust, feelings and emotions such as earthly love, hatred, jealousy, joys and sorrows, and, not to say the least of it all, the ‘limited’ ego and the intellect , that sift, sieve and judge; justify, praise and criticise, and, make something on Life’s canvas, similar to Modern Art – the artist gives ‘abstract’ expression to his perception – and the latter differs from the one who views it and interprets it. Each perceives his own imagination/thoughts/ideas/concepts as manifested in it. This, I believe, is true of human life as well.
We try to understand, judge, improve others as our minds are always focused outward, caught in the ‘web’ of the ‘little worlds’ that we live in – our families and friends and other social circles that we move in , our relationships with others, and, the problems thereof that we confront in life.
We fail to realise that whatever the situations and the problems we face in life, many a time, are not because of the people we attribute it to, or, due to the situations that we think have been created by them. These are more or less created by us by, if we may say, the ‘Law of Attraction’. ‘Like attracts Like’. It doesn’t mean that there is a ‘black and white’ division of ‘good and bad’..If it were so, if we think, speak and act in a good manner, we attract only ‘good people’ and ‘life-sustaining’situations around us, and, vice versa.
Good and bad are relative terms. What seems good to one may not be so to the other, and, vice versa. In the bargain, we are deluded, and, take our perceptions not as such, but, as ‘Reality’ and respond or react to them.
With the ‘Dawn of Grace’ a stage comes in a seeker’s life when he becomes just a ‘witness’ to ,or, ‘observer’ of all this ‘screen-play’ in life – comprising of the script, the production, the direction, the props, and, the characters, including oneself and their respective roles . Such a seeker remains ‘STILL’ in mind , yet ‘dynamic’ in life. Life goes on as before, but, no more ‘indelible’ or, ‘lifetimes-lasting’ impressions are formed through the senses, the mind, the intellect,and, the ego.
It all transcends human limitations, and the seeker continues to live , celebrating every breath and every moment , with gratitude. Jai Gurudev!!

THE BUBBLE

AMRITHDHAARA

soul

As I sat by the riverside
I looked into the water
Throwing one pebble after another into it
Each pebble made a disturbance in the water

Each , as it touched the water
Brought a disturbance but only on the surface
And a bubble or two came up
But to disappear in no time!

So also as the little mind during its journey
Hits against imaginary walls it perceives, and hence experiences
Between it and the Big Mind
Walls on its way that thwart its progress towards its destination
It makes an effort to break each
It breaks one and another stands in its place

This happens during most of its journey
The river of the little mind experiences disturbances in its flow
The thought bubbles come up and disappear in it
But unlike the bubbles in the Big Mind
For they set forth the chain of thought , word…

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CHEWING THE CUD

AMRITHDHAARA

Hello! Circus in town! Circus in town! Do you want to come?
One of my friends said, “Wow! Get me also a ticket!”
But the other one said, “Nay! Nay! I don’t like to go to the Circus!
For, we’ve pleasure, ,of course, but at others’ expense!cud

I asked her, “ What do you mean?”
She said, “Those, who do dangerous acts, do it for a living, hence at own expense!
So all those who work in the Circus belong to this group!
But the spectators have their fun at others’ expense!

Yes! Animals performing in the Circus are beaten, starved , to be tamed and trained to do so!
For whose sake? For the pleasure of man?
Such gross injustice! I can’t bear it!
I would suggest to you to contemplate on this!”

We heard her; I felt a deep sense of guilt
But, only for a few seconds…

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THE LOTUS

AMRITHDHAARA

lotus

I strolled across the counryside 

‘Inebriated’ by its ‘pulsating’ beauty

It all looked like an idyllic painting on a canvas!

I drank to the last ‘dregs’ the  ’scented breath’ of exotic flowers brought to me by a waft of the breeze!

The path lined up with flowering trees on both sides awed me with their presence

And  I was drawn by an unknown force to a river-bank

To squat on it and gaze on, mesmerized , at a lone white lotus

It was a moment of reveleation…a spark from the Souce, as I felt a silent communion with the lotus!

It stood tall, high, royal, and graceful!

The petals were half-open or half-closed

And its leaves floated above  in the water

Growing in it, and nurtured by it, yet, untouched by it!

The lotus grows, Nature’s way , to its full bloom

Be it a dirty pond, or be it…

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